Lets leave Tiger Woods alone.

Why as a civilisation do we parade our heroes, and carry them on our shoulders when they raise and jump on them when they fall? Why does the world laugh with us when we laugh, and deserts us when we cry? Why do we not partake in each other's sorrows as if it is our own?

Tiger Woods and his infidelity is his own personal business, what or who gives us the right to pass judgement on a fellow being without experiencing his experiences, understanding his circumstances, or even knowing what is actually true or not, The Bible says "hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye - Matthew 7:5, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1. Everybody slips as it is human to error, he will face his own consequences for his actions, lets us respect his pain, as his family goes through a harrowing time, let us not encourage the vultures and fan the flames, let us give him and his family the privacy they need to pull themselves out of this crisis. Let us all stand behind their family in this hour of need, whatever be the consequences, let us respect their decisions and give the the time to heal.

To err is human, to forgive is divine, caring for each others problems and standing along your fellow human beings during their time of need is far better than applauding them when they succeed. Lets drink to our fellow beings victories and not exploit their failures. Many have taken this opportunity in Tiger Woods to claim their place in the eyes of the media and the world, if we cannot make things better lets at least not make it worse.

This is a lesson to one and all, that whatever you do in the dark will one day come to light, so lets live wearing our character on our sleeves, and keeping God in our hearts. May God be with Tiger Woods and his family during this their time of trial.

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Agape Love

A son asked his father, Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?. The father who despite having a heart condition, says Yes. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying Yes to his sons request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, Dad, lets join the Ironman together. To which, his father said Yes too.

For those who dont know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island . Father and son went on to complete the the race together.

Make a difference

Beating the holiday blues.

As the season to be cheerful and jolly bears down on us, as the holidays are here, many of us are in good spirits and just the feeling of being home fills us with warmth, but in this vast and varied world of ours, many of us are alone, many of us have some pain from the past revisiting us during these months, many of us feel bad about ourselves or the way we look, many among us can not be where we want to be, because of myriad different reasons and are feeling down and are feeling as if we have failed in our lives.

As many of us prepare to face our many fears, the main arsenal in our weaponry, should be the determined effort to uplift the spirit, let us all tell ourselves that come what may, this season we are going to have a great time, with or without the help of others, alone or in the company of others, however bad they may be. We have to look within ourselves first to find the power to celebrate ourselves, we need to reassure oneself that we are going to accept our internal image and our external image however much we ourselves disapprove of it. Since we are determined to have a good time and not be drawn to any pain from the past, and have decided to enjoy ourselves in spite of everything that may stand in between us and the things that make us feel good, let us lead different lives this season, let us be different, let us meet people who need to be met, let us be there for someone who needs somebody, let us share what we can to someone who needs sharing, does not matter how much we can but the effort in the sharing is what matters, let us volunteer at a soup kitchen, let us go around carolling with a church group where you don't know anybody, let us buy dinner for somebody who can't buy some on his own, let us call someone we value and tell them how we feel about them and how much they meant and mean to us, let us celebrate the spirit of being human and alive. Let us feel the things around us look at everything in a different light, don't worry about consequences, don't fret about tomorrow as tomorrow comes with its own problems, take a holiday of the mind, don't think before you do everything these holidays, do things that are right and good for others, dare to be different, embrace the NEW YOU, live to give, and this will definitely help you beat your holiday blues, or lighten the blow. Spread the cheer, for true happiness lies in the heart of the giver, Here's to a season of giving, for in giving you are truly living.

Celebrating my wife

Today's post is a little different from the rest of my posts in my blog, today's post is on celebrating my wife as today is our second wedding anniversary, it has been quite a journey till now, filled with happiness, travel, parties and now the blessings of a beautiful baby. I have been very lucky to have met my soul mate in my journey of life, I hope, pray and wish that each and everyone of you can met somebody as wonderful as my wife in your lives. God Bless.

The music I had choosen for it orginally was Bette Middler - Wind Beneath My Wings, Rod Stewart - Have I told you lately that I love you and I Swear by All 4 one, but as it was not allowed by youtube for copy rights infringement, I had to swap the audio with what was allowed by Youtube.

Professionalism

During a causal chit chat with a friend, whom I had known for many years, I was harshly surprised to find out how our lives change, once we become professionals in our respective trades. Truth and everything else that we used to stand for come second to succeeding in our professions, we got to get that top position at the cost of our integrity, honesty and truth. Is this how we want people to remember us? Is this what will make the ones we love proud of us? What is happening to us as a race? Are we too greedy? Is success all that matters? Are we not human anymore? A life lived in honesty, truth and integrity is a life of peace, joy and happiness. It is a simple life with a profound influence on our peers and followers, it is a life of satisfaction. If there is one thing I have learnt in life that is Honesty is the best policy. It is far easier to lie than to tell the truth, but is far more worthy to tell the truth than live a lie. If all of us lived our lives like this then heaven is truly a place on earth, let us live in such a manner, such that the lives around us, is sweetened. Let us work hard, let us work with honesty, truthfulness, dignity and integrity. Let us party harder so that are lives are not boring and without fun, let us live our lives in such a way as it is meaningful to one another.

Time and Tide waits for No Man

How true this proverb is in our lives. Many a time before we decide to do something, the time to do that something has already passed, we always seem to be chasing the sun which always just seems out of our reach. Articulate or pen down the things to be done in order of priority is like the No.1 thing to do to make the most of time at hand, and to accomplish as much as we can in the least amount of time is another trick that can only be mastered with practice, effort and careful planning. Let us not doodle away our lives in things that are insignificant and trifle, instead spend your lives doing those things that matter to us, and that sweeten our lives and the lives around us. Let us live so that our lives stand as testimonies to a life well lived. Let us balance everything in our lives, let us avoid the things that bring in the negativism into our lives and add the things that bring positivism in our lives. All of us pass this way only once, let us make that one time count. Live your life in such a way that the heavenly beings look down on your life, and whisper that if ever life was to be lived, it was to be lived like the way you lived yours.

The Bucket List

The Bucket List is a 2007 comedy-drama film directed by Rob Reiner. The main plot follows two terminally ill men (Nicholson and Freeman) on their road trip with a wish list of things to do before they "kick the bucket." Their bucket list was to witness something truly majestic, Help a complete stranger for the common good, Laugh till I cry, Drive a Shelby Mustang, Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world, Get a tattoo, Skydiving, Visit Stonehenge, Spend a week at the Louvre, See Rome, Dinner at La Chevre d'Or, See the Pyramids, Get back in touch (previously "Hunt the big cat", added after being earlier added and crossed off), To visit the Taj Mahal, India, Hong Kong, Victoria Falls, Serengeti, Ride the Great Wall of China and To Try DMT.

I wonder how many of us will sit back in our older years and say to ourselves that we had “Quite a Life”, why do we always postpone the things that are important to us? Why do we not live when we can? Why does worrying about anything and everything take precedence in our lives? Why do we wait for something to happen, to remind us of what we can not do anymore? why don’t we enjoy the same things when we can? why do we take everything in life for granted? Articulating a bucket list, a list of things we want to do before our time comes, should be a top priority for each and every one of us. Let us live life fully satisfied, let control the things within our control and not worry about things we can’t control. Let us aim to live simple lives with extraordinary dreams, let us seek to touch the stars, while still trying to leave every place a little better than we found it. Let us aim to live in comfortable homes with a care in hearts for the homeless, let us live today to make somebody’s tomorrow better. Let us all be a bit better this holiday season than what we were the last. Let us light somebody’s life with the joys that pass all understanding. Let us pray for somebody else’s problems. Let us share our joys with someone who has no joys or very little joys. Let us give someone the purpose to live this Christmas season. Let us show our thanks to people around us for being around us. Let us spend this holiday season with a song in our hearts and a dance in our footsteps. Let us make a difference however small in somebody’s life so that this holiday season is never the same for that someone.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -IV

• Talk, talk and talk about anything and everything, make your spouse your best friend - Relive your courtship period, didn't you want to be with him/her all the time, didn't you talk about nothing for hours on end, didn't you always want to break that happy news or sad news to him/her first. Isn't that special somebody your spouse today, be yourself with your spouse, be honest with him/her, for a relationship based on honesty is a stronger relationship than one based on lies and deception. Make your spouse your best friend, then everything in the relationship will take a turn for the sky.
• Manage your finances together - I've heard quite a few relationships going dark because of money, its either that the husband is reckless in his spending or the wife is careless about her earnings. Treat finance matters in a relationship like you would treat a business, collectively discuss your revenues, your expenses, and discuss what is necessary and what is not. When you sit together to face common problems with a hope to find solutions it brings you closer, there always needs to be a compromise achieved, for sacrifice and give & take is also parts of this great institution called marriage.
• Collective responsibility - It is very easy for one to blame the other when something goes wrong, but it takes a whole lot of courage to take responsibility for one's errors. Don't be quick to blame instead find out what can be done to correct the wrong, don't blame each other instead take collectiveresponsibility in every wrong, for then the recovery has already started.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -III

• Celebrate your spouse's positives and manage their negatives - How many times do we criticise our spouses for their negatives and let their positives go unnoticed? Not all Men/Women are alike, Thank God for that, so don't expect your partner to be like somebody else, except them for who they are, with their pluses and minises, it is a lot easier to be critical of one another's faults than looking at each other's own faults. In every relationship the partners should know each other strengths and weakness and work around them, Lets all never let a opportunity go by to tell your spouse how well he/she can do something, or how well they have done something, being appreciate is a happy emotion, lets spread it. Manage the faults and the weakness you find in your spouse, help them to overcome it, thereby you are not only helping them, but are helping yourself, feel as if you have accomplished something. Celebrate your spouse's strength and manage their weakness together is the key to be happy in a long term relationship.
• Make this relationship your top priority - If this relationship is important to you then show it. Don't put your spouse or your plans together after everything else, if you treat your relationship like it is the last thing on your list then it will become the last thing in your life. If your life depended on this relationship then behave like it does. I have known many relationships to have gone sour, because they don't treat their relationships as their No.1 priority in their lives. Getting your priorities right is the start of anything and everything happy.
• Keep the flame alight and cherish one another - After a period of time like all things in life, relationships start to wane and fade. It is up to each individual in the relationship to keep the relationship going, it is important for both the partners to keep it alive and to how it was when it all started, a relationship or any relationship needs to be cultivated with care and affection for it to grow. Always remember why you got married for? and keep on making the relationship exciting and always look for memories to make. Do things spontaneously, do things you have not before to make the other person feel precious and valued. Live and love.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -II

• Never belittle your spouse - Many a time we never practice the idiom of "Praising people in public and rebuking them in private" in fact our egos are too big most of the time to let us reveal that the bigger person in our relationship is not us, in fact if people look up to the person we are with, we shall share that admiration too, and people look up to us also. It also makes you spouse feel bigger and in turn he or she will look to carry you along where ever they go, since quite simply you make them feel good. Never make or let the other person feel insecure, the problems that arise from insecurity are numerous. Find the courage and creativity to promote and protect your partner's self-esteem, even when you feel compelled to be critical. By using the value of self-esteem, you provide a much more nurturing atmosphere, one your partner will not want to abandon - Dr.Phil.
• Always discuss issues, problems and decisions together - One can never ever say this enough, always discuss issues relating to anything as communication is the essence of any good relationship, you have a problem with your spouse -talk about it, you have a problem at your job - talk about it to your spouse, make them part of your every decision. Face your problems together, relationships are not build on the happy times spent together but build on the tough times you had to wriggle out off together. When you go through lot of troubles together, it only brings you together that much more. When you want to make a decision even if its buying a car which your wife doesn't understand, talk to her and tell her why you have zoomed in on that particular car, make the other person feel valuable, it will be reciprocated.
• Always try on your spouse's shoes - It always looks easier from where you stand to do the things that your spouse does, and to judge by that outer view. Instead try to see the world, try to see the things through your spouse's eyes, try on her/his shoes for a day, and feel what they feel, instantly your view in the subject at hand will change and your appreciation for one will only increase.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -I

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Like everything in our lives we take the people who love us the most for granted, for that is how we as humans are wired, likewise in marriage as we grow, we take the closest and the dearest person to us in our lives, our spouse, for granted. I've analysed and studied happy couples from afar and from close and these are some of my effective habits to keep a marriage alive and rocking.

• Respect and love each other unconditionally - Respect in a marriage is very important, remember the time when the two to you were dating, how much you respected the him/her, his/her ideas, his/her goals, respected him/her enough to listen to her/his every thought about everything, it made the other person feel so valued, so important, enough to reciprocate the feeling shown to him/her. That's the kind of respect a marriage needs to thrives on, build on it . Love each other like you did the day you got married, love each other without a condition, love each other with no reservation, for love makes the world go around. When you respect and love each other, it only promotes the others self esteem, thereby creating a secure and love filled home. "Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime, Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday - Nicholas Sparks.
• Value each other's time - Many a time in marriage or in life we take the other people's time for granted, we always put our time, our priorities ahead of the other's, we say we are going to be there at a particular time and then land there late casually under the pretext of some excuse or another.If you value somebody's time you would definitely value them.
• Strive always to make the other person happy - It is easy in our daily routine to easily forget your better half, it is easy for us to look for things that make oneself happy, how many times do we think about making our spouse happy, doing things that would make the other person happy at the cost of our own, cause in the end what goes around comes around and in striving to make the other person happy we would indeed be happy. Lets stop being selfish and give being selfless a try.

The circle of life.

Tell the ones whom you love that you love them while you still can

Life's Lesson - A Story I just had to tell.

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.

Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....

This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing.
Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..

"I really love you, but I really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."

"Its o.k, I understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.

The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer..."This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don't you know that I hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite.
Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...
after hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "I love you"...

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...I have ask for it and now I wanna keep it this way, if not I will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord... Little did she remember, he has heart problems...


The next day, she received news that he had passed away...
she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....

As sad as she could be...
She will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her...
And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer.
I want you to know Iwill always be around, by your side...
I love you"

Tears flowed like a river wild......

"When you love someone, let them know...
You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together...
Learn to love each other.
For who they are...
Not what they are..."

Be a Sea Sponge.

Sponges do not have nervous, digestive or circulatory systems. Instead most rely on maintaining a constant water flow through their bodies to obtain food and oxygen and to remove wastes, and the shapes of their bodies are adapted to maximize the efficiency of the water flow.

Our perspective on life today, should be like a sponge, we should absorb the good from people whom we meet, know about, hear about or read about, always looking for the good in all things whether its the movies that we see or the music that we hear or even from the birds of the sky or from the animals that roam the earth. We can learn so much from the things that make up our lives, we need to only absorb what is relevant and good, remove the irrelevant or the bad in the nature of things surrounding us, learning never stops at an age, it is an evolving process, everyday we can learn something new to incorporate into our lives to sweeten the lives around us and our own.

Let us adapt ourselves, to listen, to feel, to notice, to read and to observe the good things around us and learn something from everything for there no greater teacher than experience in this world.

Cut one's coat according to one's cloth

Living a life of contentment seems so impossible, we always want something more, as economics of life states that, wants are limitless, how do we cut our coat according to the cloth?

Being happy with what we have is a virtue that a few possess, here are my tips to that sublime state.

Reflecting on our past - Past is a vital clog in our life, not forgetting where we have come from, and where we are now, makes a ton of difference always appreciating what we have today, how did we get there? the sacrifices that we have made to be there, the hard work that has helped us be where we are. These thoughts will help us to be content with what we have in a small way in our present scenario.

Reflecting on our surroundings - As we live our lives, as we get comfortable, we automatically forget the people around us, and the circumstances that they live or have, how often are we thankful for our bodily gifts, how often do we remember the less fortunate among us, reflecting on the have-nots in comparison to us, will again in a small way help us.

Planning and questioning - Adequate planning curtails unnecessary spending, listing out the things that we need in our daily life, and then weeding out the things that we don't want is a prime example to curtail our spending. Organisation makes our life easier, cheaper and simpler. Questioning yourself if we really need the things we buy, really need the many things we splurge on, Is there a more cost effective way to do the same, etc. Questioning brings awareness, for it is similar to looking before you leap. How many times have we purchased something we don't need and never used it? How many times do we pay for things that don't actually help our day? and crib and brood over it. Careful spending leads to less spending which leads to happier spending. Careless spending leads to more spending which leads to unhappier spending.

Appreciating what we have - Advertisers have a knack for making us want what we don't really need, we always want the next big car, the next big video game, the latest shoe, the next biggest bling, which is relative to us, and as soon as we get whatever we want, whether it is a car or a game, etc, we soon grow tired and bored of that thing, and we want the next biggest thing, appreciating what we have, remembering why you bought it and treasuring it will go a long way in curtailing our wants. Just because you can, is no reason you should. I remember a friend of mine, and his habit of changing his mobile phones as you would change clothes, and all these mobiles that he would trade in for a newer mobiles, would always have depreciated from the time he bought them, and the newer mobiles would always be costlier than the last, the features on latest models would not even be relevant in his line of work, and as these mobiles are always bought on some equated monthly installment or scheme, he would always be in debt. Let us learn to like what we have before we want something we do not have.

Always comparing our needs to our wants - This is essential in our spending being wise. Do we always wonder if the things we buy are the things we want or need, is it essential to our lives or do we simply crave for them, because of the status attached to them?, or because it is the next big thing?, or because you colleague at work or your boss or your friends have them?, or because you are avoiding dealing with the real issues in your mind and spending because it makes you feel better?

always weighing our wants against our needs, helps us to decide and curb our spending.

Living without debt - In this age of credit cards, spending is almost inevitable, it seems so easy to swipe your card for everything, but do we realise that credit cards always encourage us to spend what we don't have, and when we spend what we don't have, then we are always slaves to debt. Let us not have many credit cards, let us make a decision to spend what we have and not spend what we don't have or spend what we are going to have, for life without debt is an happier life. Credit card is only one such example, it can be anything like a loan etc,. Let us treat Debt as a bad thing, and the further we keep it from our lives, the better it is for our lives and those around us.

Sharing whatever we have - I am not saying that we should give our salaries to the unfortunate, but simply saying to give whatever small contribution to we can to the less fortunate among us, believe me, there is no greater joy on this planet, than making people smile or spreading joy among others.

I believe that thinking about these points stated above, in a small way will help you in cutting the coat according to the cloth and not vise versa, these are my thoughts, please let me know your thoughts through your comments.

Why do we always value people and things after they are gone or are lost? Why do we not treasure what we have?

Why do we never value anything whether its lives or things when we have them? Why do we take things or people with us for granted? Why are human beings always fretting about things they should have done when their loved one was there with them?

My friends, take control of our lives, our people, our things, be possessive of what we have, never take things or people for granted, nothing in life is permanent, tell a loved one today that you love them, never let a chance to hug someone go, for you never know if you will get a chance again, never let the chance to appreciate someone's good work go, without you appreciating them. Treasure the time with those you love, make an appointment to spend quality time with the people who matter in your life, for that is what you live for. Why do we not take care of our own when we can, rather then mourning or crying after they are lost. Life is lived in moments my friends not in years

Similarly, Why do we chase that beautiful girl in our school or college relentlessly and would cross the deepest sea or climb the highest mountain for her, but once the chase ends, once she becomes your girl, once you marry her, treat her like nothing? Isn't she the same girl, who once made your heart skip a beat, isn't she the same girl who made you speechless, isn't she the same girl, who you dreamt of being with day and night? Lets make the crooked paths straight in our lives , lets make that someone, that special someone in our lives feel like she is a queen for a day, lets respect what we worked for, lets appreciate what God has blessed us with. For there is no time like today to love, and show the love to the ones who love us and whom we love. Lets not forget that this is the same special girl in our life today, whom you prayed and wished to be with. Live and love without boundaires, for a life such as that, is a life with no regrets.

If you have never failed, you have never lived

Why are our yesterdays better than our todays!

Why do some of us live in our past? why do those days in our memory, the best days of our lives? Why do we always look back than looking at ourselves today or into the future.

This for me is a negative attitude in life, we are not looking ahead with anticipation, we are not enjoying our todays, we are not making the days that we live in count, we are glorifing what happened then, rather than making things happen now. As we live today, we should live in the present, making everyday count, cause as it is life is too short, lets fill it with laughter, joy and loads of fun, lets live in looking forward to the many places we are going to see, lets live life looking forward to the many things that we always wanted to do, but have not done as yet, lets live looking forward to the many memories, that we are going to create, life does'nt stop at any particular age, life stops when we stop living it. The things that make our days livable is in the anticipation, not in recollection. So lets live our lives not by glorifing our yesterday, but instead live in our todays and look forward to our day after tommorrows.