Agape Love

A son asked his father, Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?. The father who despite having a heart condition, says Yes. They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying Yes to his sons request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, Dad, lets join the Ironman together. To which, his father said Yes too.

For those who dont know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island . Father and son went on to complete the the race together.

Make a difference

Beating the holiday blues.

As the season to be cheerful and jolly bears down on us, as the holidays are here, many of us are in good spirits and just the feeling of being home fills us with warmth, but in this vast and varied world of ours, many of us are alone, many of us have some pain from the past revisiting us during these months, many of us feel bad about ourselves or the way we look, many among us can not be where we want to be, because of myriad different reasons and are feeling down and are feeling as if we have failed in our lives.

As many of us prepare to face our many fears, the main arsenal in our weaponry, should be the determined effort to uplift the spirit, let us all tell ourselves that come what may, this season we are going to have a great time, with or without the help of others, alone or in the company of others, however bad they may be. We have to look within ourselves first to find the power to celebrate ourselves, we need to reassure oneself that we are going to accept our internal image and our external image however much we ourselves disapprove of it. Since we are determined to have a good time and not be drawn to any pain from the past, and have decided to enjoy ourselves in spite of everything that may stand in between us and the things that make us feel good, let us lead different lives this season, let us be different, let us meet people who need to be met, let us be there for someone who needs somebody, let us share what we can to someone who needs sharing, does not matter how much we can but the effort in the sharing is what matters, let us volunteer at a soup kitchen, let us go around carolling with a church group where you don't know anybody, let us buy dinner for somebody who can't buy some on his own, let us call someone we value and tell them how we feel about them and how much they meant and mean to us, let us celebrate the spirit of being human and alive. Let us feel the things around us look at everything in a different light, don't worry about consequences, don't fret about tomorrow as tomorrow comes with its own problems, take a holiday of the mind, don't think before you do everything these holidays, do things that are right and good for others, dare to be different, embrace the NEW YOU, live to give, and this will definitely help you beat your holiday blues, or lighten the blow. Spread the cheer, for true happiness lies in the heart of the giver, Here's to a season of giving, for in giving you are truly living.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -IV

• Talk, talk and talk about anything and everything, make your spouse your best friend - Relive your courtship period, didn't you want to be with him/her all the time, didn't you talk about nothing for hours on end, didn't you always want to break that happy news or sad news to him/her first. Isn't that special somebody your spouse today, be yourself with your spouse, be honest with him/her, for a relationship based on honesty is a stronger relationship than one based on lies and deception. Make your spouse your best friend, then everything in the relationship will take a turn for the sky.
• Manage your finances together - I've heard quite a few relationships going dark because of money, its either that the husband is reckless in his spending or the wife is careless about her earnings. Treat finance matters in a relationship like you would treat a business, collectively discuss your revenues, your expenses, and discuss what is necessary and what is not. When you sit together to face common problems with a hope to find solutions it brings you closer, there always needs to be a compromise achieved, for sacrifice and give & take is also parts of this great institution called marriage.
• Collective responsibility - It is very easy for one to blame the other when something goes wrong, but it takes a whole lot of courage to take responsibility for one's errors. Don't be quick to blame instead find out what can be done to correct the wrong, don't blame each other instead take collectiveresponsibility in every wrong, for then the recovery has already started.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -III

• Celebrate your spouse's positives and manage their negatives - How many times do we criticise our spouses for their negatives and let their positives go unnoticed? Not all Men/Women are alike, Thank God for that, so don't expect your partner to be like somebody else, except them for who they are, with their pluses and minises, it is a lot easier to be critical of one another's faults than looking at each other's own faults. In every relationship the partners should know each other strengths and weakness and work around them, Lets all never let a opportunity go by to tell your spouse how well he/she can do something, or how well they have done something, being appreciate is a happy emotion, lets spread it. Manage the faults and the weakness you find in your spouse, help them to overcome it, thereby you are not only helping them, but are helping yourself, feel as if you have accomplished something. Celebrate your spouse's strength and manage their weakness together is the key to be happy in a long term relationship.
• Make this relationship your top priority - If this relationship is important to you then show it. Don't put your spouse or your plans together after everything else, if you treat your relationship like it is the last thing on your list then it will become the last thing in your life. If your life depended on this relationship then behave like it does. I have known many relationships to have gone sour, because they don't treat their relationships as their No.1 priority in their lives. Getting your priorities right is the start of anything and everything happy.
• Keep the flame alight and cherish one another - After a period of time like all things in life, relationships start to wane and fade. It is up to each individual in the relationship to keep the relationship going, it is important for both the partners to keep it alive and to how it was when it all started, a relationship or any relationship needs to be cultivated with care and affection for it to grow. Always remember why you got married for? and keep on making the relationship exciting and always look for memories to make. Do things spontaneously, do things you have not before to make the other person feel precious and valued. Live and love.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -II

• Never belittle your spouse - Many a time we never practice the idiom of "Praising people in public and rebuking them in private" in fact our egos are too big most of the time to let us reveal that the bigger person in our relationship is not us, in fact if people look up to the person we are with, we shall share that admiration too, and people look up to us also. It also makes you spouse feel bigger and in turn he or she will look to carry you along where ever they go, since quite simply you make them feel good. Never make or let the other person feel insecure, the problems that arise from insecurity are numerous. Find the courage and creativity to promote and protect your partner's self-esteem, even when you feel compelled to be critical. By using the value of self-esteem, you provide a much more nurturing atmosphere, one your partner will not want to abandon - Dr.Phil.
• Always discuss issues, problems and decisions together - One can never ever say this enough, always discuss issues relating to anything as communication is the essence of any good relationship, you have a problem with your spouse -talk about it, you have a problem at your job - talk about it to your spouse, make them part of your every decision. Face your problems together, relationships are not build on the happy times spent together but build on the tough times you had to wriggle out off together. When you go through lot of troubles together, it only brings you together that much more. When you want to make a decision even if its buying a car which your wife doesn't understand, talk to her and tell her why you have zoomed in on that particular car, make the other person feel valuable, it will be reciprocated.
• Always try on your spouse's shoes - It always looks easier from where you stand to do the things that your spouse does, and to judge by that outer view. Instead try to see the world, try to see the things through your spouse's eyes, try on her/his shoes for a day, and feel what they feel, instantly your view in the subject at hand will change and your appreciation for one will only increase.

Effective Habits to Keep a Marriage alive. PART -I

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Like everything in our lives we take the people who love us the most for granted, for that is how we as humans are wired, likewise in marriage as we grow, we take the closest and the dearest person to us in our lives, our spouse, for granted. I've analysed and studied happy couples from afar and from close and these are some of my effective habits to keep a marriage alive and rocking.

• Respect and love each other unconditionally - Respect in a marriage is very important, remember the time when the two to you were dating, how much you respected the him/her, his/her ideas, his/her goals, respected him/her enough to listen to her/his every thought about everything, it made the other person feel so valued, so important, enough to reciprocate the feeling shown to him/her. That's the kind of respect a marriage needs to thrives on, build on it . Love each other like you did the day you got married, love each other without a condition, love each other with no reservation, for love makes the world go around. When you respect and love each other, it only promotes the others self esteem, thereby creating a secure and love filled home. "Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime, Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other everyday - Nicholas Sparks.
• Value each other's time - Many a time in marriage or in life we take the other people's time for granted, we always put our time, our priorities ahead of the other's, we say we are going to be there at a particular time and then land there late casually under the pretext of some excuse or another.If you value somebody's time you would definitely value them.
• Strive always to make the other person happy - It is easy in our daily routine to easily forget your better half, it is easy for us to look for things that make oneself happy, how many times do we think about making our spouse happy, doing things that would make the other person happy at the cost of our own, cause in the end what goes around comes around and in striving to make the other person happy we would indeed be happy. Lets stop being selfish and give being selfless a try.

Tell the ones whom you love that you love them while you still can

Life's Lesson - A Story I just had to tell.

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.

Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....

This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing.
Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..

"I really love you, but I really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."

"Its o.k, I understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.

The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer..."This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don't you know that I hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite.
Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...
after hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "I love you"...

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...I have ask for it and now I wanna keep it this way, if not I will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord... Little did she remember, he has heart problems...


The next day, she received news that he had passed away...
she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....

As sad as she could be...
She will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her...
And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer.
I want you to know Iwill always be around, by your side...
I love you"

Tears flowed like a river wild......

"When you love someone, let them know...
You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together...
Learn to love each other.
For who they are...
Not what they are..."

Why do all good things come to an end?

Why does all good things in life come crashing down? Why do people who are madly in love and get married, cant find the love the got married for? Does love also require work or it just comes with an expiry date? Does pain always follow Joy?

My opinion is that, like all things around us be it our furniture or our leaking roofs, everything needs constant upkeep and love is no exception, we got to keep the flame going, through stormy weather and sunny days, Love grows and I am not talking about the intensity, I am talking about love like us grows into different stages, from puppy love to teenage love to courtship love to husband and wife love, it needs to be watered, fertilized, and it needs sunlight, to grow. We need to understand that sacrifice is a part of love, compromise is a part of love, give and take is a part of love. I guess like all other things in life the key is to keep expecting nothing and giving everything. Maybe then you can live life with love having no regrets. Knowing you have done your bit and the person watching us all will do the rest, gives us Hope in an hopeless world.